Simple, Biblical Family Prayer Patterns
I had never been a “prayer warrior”. I never found prayer time to be easy. It was always a challenge for me. Now, I knew people who could pray for hours every day! I never found that to be natural or easy. However, over the years, I have learned the joy of spending time in prayer… but it was not easy for me at first. For many years, I was very careless about my prayer life. And I would excuse my slackness by thinking of the verse that say, “The Lord knows our needs before we ask.” So, why not just say, “God you know what I need…. So just take care of that, OK?” Here’s where it all changed.
A friend of mine made this comment:
My relationship with my kids helps me understand God’s relationship with me. I want my kids to talk to me, not just tell me what they want and need. And I expect them to thank me for what I give them, and it means SO MUCH when they give me a hug and say “thank you” without my forcing it. And I want them to obey me because they love me, not because I might stand on the kitchen counter with a whip in my hand if they fail! I want LOVE from my kids, not just obedience. I want relationship!
God used that conversation with a friend to change my approach to prayer. I learned that prayer is not giving the Lord a checklist of things I want Him to do for me. Prayer is relationship. Prayer is communication. Prayer is getting to know God on an intimate level. Prayer is NOT a “to-do list for God.”
Try to imagine a relationship with any person you know, and you never communicate with each other. OR, try to imagine a relationship with any person you know, and the only time you talk is when you tell that person what you want him to do for you. How would THAT work? That is a boss, talking to an employee! OR, try to imagine a relationship with any person you know, and when you talk to them, you don’t thank them for what they did for you, you don’t acknowledge their love, and you don’t communicate your desire to know them better.
When I began to spend more time in my prayer sharing with God about what was going on in my life, and expressing my respect and love for Him, and I coupled it with reading the Bible, then, my prayer life changed. Do I mean that I became a “Prayer Warrior”? No, I still do not fit that definition. However, my prayer life has changed.
I am going to share four things that helped me build my relationship with God through prayer. Maybe one of these will connect with you. And then, I want to share ways that you can strengthen your prayer relationship with God. I have three prayer patterns that have helped me, and I am going to share some simple ways to use a prayer journal, especially as you pray for your family.
Family prayer is often challenging – even more so than personal prayer time. But if we take the time, and recognize the importance of prayer, we can have some of the most wonderful experiences of family life as we pray together. I have adapted the following prayer patterns to family prayer, or prayer for the family.
1. The Lord’s Prayer: Matthew 6:9-13
I often use this prayer pattern when praying alone, or with or for my family. After all, this IS the way Jesus taught us to pray.
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.
Lord, I acknowledge who You are, and I recognize Your authority in the lives of my family.
Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Lord, help my family to follow Your ways, and obey Your will in every part of life
Give us today our daily bread
Give each of us what is needed, not necessarily what is wanted. Give us what is best for us.
And forgive us our debts (sins),
And Lord, I acknowledge that I sin, and my family sins. Please forgive us, and restore a right relationship with You.
As we forgive our debtors (those who sin against us)
And help us to build healthy relationship with each other and with those outside of our family, based on forgiveness.
Lead us not into temptation
God, help us avoid the things that would pull us away from You and Your ways.
But deliver us from the evil one
By Your power, help each member of our family resist the enemy and give us protection from the evil in our world.
For Yours is …
the kingdom (there is no greater authority)
and the power (there is no greater strength)
and the glory (there is no greater beauty)
Forever (right now in this world, in the future, and in the world to come)
2. Luke 2:53: And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.
I frequently pray for my grandkids using this pattern.
Wisdom – Mental Growth
Help my grandchildren to understand our world, and Your work in the world you created. Help them in their education, give them wise Christian teachers, and help them to apply that education according to your principles. Give them knowledge, and widsom to apply that knowledge.
Stature – Physical Growth
Keep them strong, so they will be ready to serve You. And keep them healthy, so they can do Your will.
Favor with God – Spiritual Growth
Draw them ever closer to you. Help them to understand the Bible, help them to learn from their pastors and teachers, and help them to develop a strong relationship with You.
Favor with Man – Social Growth
And Lord, help my grandchildren to develop strong Christian friendships. And help them to be a light to those they come in contact with who do not know You. Lord may they have a positive spiritual influence in every part of their lives.
3. ACTS - Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication.
You may have seen this ACTS prayer pattern. This is especially appropriate for family prayer together. Think how different your prayer life might be if you gave equal time to each of these parts of a prayer! Don’t rush through the first three in your haste to get to supplication!
A – Adoration – Have each member of the family express their words of adoration.
God, you are amazing! You are so good to us. When I look at the world You created, I am stunned by your majesty and power.
C- Confession – Have each member of the family share their confessions and pray together.
God, you know we are struggling. Help ________ with the problem of _________. Give us victory over the sins that keep cropping up in our family. Strengthen us, and defend us against evil influence.
T – Thanksgiving – Have each member of the family share specific words of thanks. This is different than Adoration. Adoration recognizes who God is. Thanksgiving recognizes what God has done.
God, thank You! Thank You for answering our prayers. Thank You for providing what we need. Thank you for helping _________ with that difficult problem. Thank You for …..
S – Supplication – Finally, have each member of the family express their prayer requests.
God, please help _________ with that problem. Please guide _______ in her situation. Lord, heal ________ and restore his health.
Use of a Prayer Journal
Journaling is not for everyone. But in it’s most simple form, it is a tool that can help any individual or any family to develop a more meaningful prayer life. I have not always kept a prayer journal. But, as I said earlier, my prayer life was mostly about giving God a “Honey-do” list. So a journal was just a long list of stuff I wanted God to do. For me, it helped when I took time to jot down things I had learned about God, or learned from God’s Word.
For example, right now, in my prayer journal, I am making a list of “Attributes of God” that I notice, and appreciate in my life. When I start to pray, I think, “God, you are so……” and I add a word… wise, loving, strong, creative, etc. And I try to think of a new one that isn’t on the list yet! It is getting to be a very long list! For example, my journal list says “Creative”, but I talked with God about His creativity. And then, I thank God for what I enjoy about that attribute.
You are so creative! The world is so amazing. Everything from the tiniest little creature on earth, to the biggest sun in the heavens is amazing! And the variety! God, you made more kinds of butterflies than I can count!
A simple spiral notebook can become a family prayer journal with those same features. It can include more than a list of things your family wants from God. Find creative ways to include answers to prayer, words of praise, confessions and victories in your family prayer journal. Your family prayer journal can be useful, because it is….
1. A reminder of what God can do.
2. A reminder of what God is doing.
3. A reminder of what God has done.
Talking to God in prayer is a fundamental and basic practice of the Christian life, and it is best learned at home from parents in the context of family. Start now! Don’t wait! Prayer as Jesus told us to pray.